Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
