bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
