They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
