at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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