New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
