the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
