Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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