Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You took a bar mat shot.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
