At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Did you just see the Batmobile???
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
