I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think your dad took our porno
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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