hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize