why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
