i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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