i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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