I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
