i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
