the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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