Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.