If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
