Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In other news, I just burned my penis
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
