my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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