I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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