Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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