I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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