I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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