Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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