You just made me feel so damn special
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
