i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
