didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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