the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
