I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
