Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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