no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
