I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
