Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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