Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
