the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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