she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
