Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The uberlube is also flammable
third nipple confirmed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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