i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
