He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Every concussion has its silver lining
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
