More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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