yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
