Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
