And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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