apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
