True but thats because hes a fetus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
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I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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