I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
