hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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