'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
