Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
