I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
