Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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