Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
