so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
