My first STD was from a foam party
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
