I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
