you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
