so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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