remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
