i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
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Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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