just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You need a sexual gate keeper
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
