reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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